Trying to ignore the sounds of my brother on the phone and the news blaring from the television, I quickly dash up to my room, concentrating on my clumsy steps, hoping I don’t fall.
Once inside, with the door safely closed, I walk across the room to my closed window, gazing out, onto the intersection near my neighborhood. I sigh and wrench myself away from the patterns created by the streetlights on the wet ground. Flopping softly onto my rug, I begin to dig under my bed for my Ipod. I find the cords to the headphones and slowly pull it out from under my massive stack of unwashed clothes, silently rejoicing, once it is out in full view.
I breathe deeply as I turn it on, savoring the anticipation of this moment. Losing my patience, I stuff my headphones into my ears, and sit very still, while searching through the library, trying to find the right song.
Upon hearing its familiar opening chords, I close my eyes, letting my body fall back onto the soft carpet, and instantly I am far away from my home, catapulted somewhere much more familiar--the depths of my own mind.
I can’t quite describe my surroundings; they are dark for sure, but every once in a while, I see a face, and this face changes often, that lights up my private world.
Tonight the face is that of my best friend, whom I’ve sort of lost contact with over these last few weeks. I can remember my every second spent with her, the good and the bad, and tonight I seem to focus on one moment in particular. We are both sitting on her couch, watching some ridiculously comedic movie as I drift to sleep. That very second, of that very day, of that very lifetime, I realized one of the most important facts of my existence: I was loved. It didn’t matter to her that I wasn’t the most beautiful person; it didn’t matter that I couldn’t do long-division in my head; she just saw the best and celebrated it, she saw the worst and helped me through it. She loved me, unequivocally and undeniably. And that was the only thing that mattered to her.
Tonight I lived and breathed her, I remembered her for all she was and wasn’t, and I loved her too. I thought through all the pointless arguments, the sometimes patronizing conversations, the angry fights, and it seemed as though it never mattered anyway.
Tonight I was ambling through my mind, lost in thought. So lost, I soon fell asleep, though it was barely dark out. I slept through the night lost in my mind, and lost in the memories of our friendship, and it seemed as though I could cross the five miles that seemed to separate us perpetually, and we’re on her couch, watching some ridiculously comedic movie as I drift to sleep, soon to become lost in my thoughts and dreams, and never feeling more loved.